Friday, May 20, 2011 at 10:57PM
The craziest of the right-wing whackos are telling us that Judgement day is tomorrow, Saturday the 21st of May 2011. Evidently, tomorrow, Jesus Christ will make his triumphant return and begin judging us all, and because the Christian god is an omni-benevolent, all loving god, this will also mark the beginning of 5 months of torture, death and torment around the globe. After all, that is how an omni-benevolent deity would conduct himself, right? So if all goes according to plan, the dead should start rising from the grave tomorrow. I for one am a HUGE fan of this idea for two reasons...
1) A zombie apocalypse would at least be something interesting to do for a change.
2) I could finally meet this god in person and point out the many many flaws in his design to him. I understand he likely has no formal education, but I might recommend to him that rather than destroying the world, he might want to enroll in a top notch physics / engineering program.
Alas, I know as well as all other sane people, that there will be no glorious zombie apocalypse... In all likelihood, absolutely nothing interesting will happen tomorrow... Unless you get a thrill out of the notion of me taking my mother to the market to buy cheese. But we can dream, and we can all sit back and enjoy laughing at those zany religious whackos...