Sunday
Mar082009
Make it Better...
Sunday, March 8, 2009 at 11:09AM
I spend a good bit of time pondering ways to make the world a better place. Buddha would teach that the best way the world a better place is to spend less time trying to change things external to yourself, but rather to make changes to yourself. After all, the only thing we have complete control over in our lives is ourselves. But I ponder how we, as a people can make things better for all of us, and I continue to come back to the same basic idea... Listen.
We all need to learn to listen to others, and not jut hear, but really listen. The problem is, most people listen to respond rather than listening to understand.
We must recognize that understanding why someone feels the way they do, does not necessarily mean we have to agree. But, if we are able to understand how someone feels, and why they feel that way, then we will be more able to avoid unnecessary adversity and aggression. We will be able to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and hopefully, we will be able to then approach them with a greater level of compassion.
So why should we approach others with compassion? Because it is better to be able to walk away amicably, and preferably with a new friend than it is to have made a new enemy. When we listen only to respond, without giving any consideration to the thoughts and feelings of others, we not only alienate ourselves, but we also put the other person on the defensive. When someone feels defensive, they are less likely to actually listen to you, because they too will be listening only to respond.
Think of houw much better the entire world would be if we all gave each other the common courtesy of simply listening. The easiest way to give someone a sense of purpose, and the feeling od genuine respect, is to simply listen to them, and when you show them respect, they will reciprocate. One must give respect if they wish to earn it.
How many wars have been fought due (at least in part) to perceived disrespect, or in order to "save face". How much can you really expect to accomplish with someone if they feel they now have something to prove, because of some perceived disrespect, or lack of respect? Moreover, what does it really cost us to take the time to stop, and honestly listen to someone? To take an actual interest in what they have to say, and to try to understand where they are coming from? I think you will find that the act of listening will pay off great dividends, and doesn't cost you a thing...
What do you think? Why do you think it is that people fail to listen?
We all need to learn to listen to others, and not jut hear, but really listen. The problem is, most people listen to respond rather than listening to understand.
We must recognize that understanding why someone feels the way they do, does not necessarily mean we have to agree. But, if we are able to understand how someone feels, and why they feel that way, then we will be more able to avoid unnecessary adversity and aggression. We will be able to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and hopefully, we will be able to then approach them with a greater level of compassion.
So why should we approach others with compassion? Because it is better to be able to walk away amicably, and preferably with a new friend than it is to have made a new enemy. When we listen only to respond, without giving any consideration to the thoughts and feelings of others, we not only alienate ourselves, but we also put the other person on the defensive. When someone feels defensive, they are less likely to actually listen to you, because they too will be listening only to respond.
Think of houw much better the entire world would be if we all gave each other the common courtesy of simply listening. The easiest way to give someone a sense of purpose, and the feeling od genuine respect, is to simply listen to them, and when you show them respect, they will reciprocate. One must give respect if they wish to earn it.
How many wars have been fought due (at least in part) to perceived disrespect, or in order to "save face". How much can you really expect to accomplish with someone if they feel they now have something to prove, because of some perceived disrespect, or lack of respect? Moreover, what does it really cost us to take the time to stop, and honestly listen to someone? To take an actual interest in what they have to say, and to try to understand where they are coming from? I think you will find that the act of listening will pay off great dividends, and doesn't cost you a thing...
What do you think? Why do you think it is that people fail to listen?
Reader Comments